


The Oracle of Gryffindor

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Time, Humor, Marauders' Era, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 10:19:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5924848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James believes he is having visions of the future. But what happens when he sees more than he ever wanted to of Sirius and Remus?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Oracle of Gryffindor

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. 

The Oracle of Gryffindor

Sirius Black loved Divination. On some occasions he even considered it to be his favourite class.

It wasn’t his best subject – that was Transfiguration.

It wasn’t the subject he had the most interest in – that was Defence Against the Dark Arts.

It wasn’t that the subject was going to be any use to him in the future either. He certainly didn’t have any plans to make a living telling fortunes, it just wasn’t a profession men were generally accepted in. Though the look on his mother’s face if he took that particular route might be amusing. 

But Divination was his favourite class. 

For one thing, it was the only lesson, apart from Defence Against the Dark Arts, that all four marauders were taking at NEWT level. 

For another thing, it was held on Friday afternoons which meant that the weekend practically started straight after lunch because no one took any notice in Divination.

In fact the timing of the class was the reason the marauders were in it. A prank on the first night of term in the sixth year had seen the four boys sneaking into McGonagall’s office. Despite what the head of house said to the contrary it was _never_ too early in the year to start pranking. Their prank had been a spectacular failure but they had been fortunate enough to see the NEWT timetables and James had immediately declared that Friday afternoon Divination was the subject for them. 

Sirius and Peter had agreed instantly and it had taken surprisingly little to persuade Remus that joining them was a good idea. 

Friday afternoons from that term onwards were thus spent in sipping tea, gazing into murky crystal balls and generally larking about. Even Remus had a tendency to skive off in Divination, after all, you either had the gift or you didn’t and nothing you did in class would make any difference. You could look into the cracked crystal balls until you were cracked yourself but you wouldn’t see anything more than reflections. So it was just a question of making things up and hoping for the best. Thankfully the marauders each had excellent imaginations, which they readily admitted probably came from the number of lies they told to try and get out of trouble, and consistently gained high marks in the class with very little effort. 

Friday afternoons were good. Sirius might even go so far as to say they were the best afternoons of the week, not including Saturdays and Sundays of course. 

“So what do you see Moony?” Sirius asked as the other boy leaned over the crystal ball and gave every impression of intense concentration. Only the rest of the marauders would be able to tell he was faking. 

“I see…” Remus murmured. “A prank being plotted.”

“Sounds intriguing.”

“Tell us more,” James said with a grin from the next table.

“The details are murky,” Remus replied seriously. 

“Does this prank involve the humiliation of Snivellus?” Peter asked with a grin.

“I don’t think so,” Remus replied as he tapped at the crystal ball. “I think it’s a prank on the marauders.”

“Huh?”

“At least a prank on those who don’t have ‘the sight’,” Remus amended with a smirk. 

“That’s enough for today I think,” Professor Delphi called out to the class. “It’s best not to put pressure on the inner eye. I don’t think the headmaster will mind if the class finishes ten minutes early. Off you go and don’t forget your essays on the pros and cons of tarot cards is due today so leave them on my desk on the way out.”

“I love this class!” Sirius exclaimed as he leaned back and stretched. “Have we ever finished on time?”

“Nope,” James replied with a grin. 

“So, Moony,” Sirius asked as he swung his arm round the other boys shoulder and whispered conspiratorially in his ear. “What’s this prank you’re plotting?” 

“Didn’t you hear?” Remus asked innocently. “It’s best not to pressure the inner eye.”

“You’re not going to tell me?” Sirius asked in a mock hurt tone.

“Nope.”

“Not at all?”

“I might, I repeat _might_ , tell you before the others but not right now.”

“Some consolation,” Sirius muttered. “Some friend you are.”

“Ah come on,” Remus teased him. “You know I love you really.” 

“Flirt!”

“Prat!”

“Wolf!”

“Mutt!”

The name calling continued right up until they reached the common room, by which point both boys were laughing so much they could barely form coherent words. 

Sirius collapsed into one of the chairs and Remus headed upstairs to put away his textbooks before dinner. Sirius’s eyes followed the other boy until he was out of sight. Only when Remus had vanished completely did he turn back to James who was watching him intently.

“What?” he asked, hoping it sounded like a casual question. 

“Nothing,” James replied with a shrug. “Just thinking.”

“Well don’t overdo it,” Sirius warned with a grin. That James didn’t return it immediately worried him a little and he shifted in his seat a little, wondering if his best friend had finally figured out about his secret obsession with their roommate.

\--xXx--

“Where have you been?” Sirius scolded as soon as Remus walked into the common room on Saturday afternoon. 

“And don’t say the library,” James warned. “He checked there first.”

“I was in one of the potions labs,” Remus replied with a shrug. 

“Why? You don’t take NEWT Potions.”

“I’m not telling,” Remus smirked as he pushed Sirius’s legs out of the way and sat down on the sofa.

“Did you take the map with you so we couldn’t find you? Is this something to do with that prank of yours?” Sirius asked with a grin. “Are you going to tell us about it yet? Are you going to tell me?”

“Yes, yes, no and no.”

“Yes, you’re going to tell me?” Sirius asked hopefully.

“No! And stop pouting.”

“He’s been pouting all afternoon,” James muttered. 

“Ah, did ickle Padfoot miss me?” Remus teased.

“Only ‘cause I needed your help with the Defence homework,” Sirius insisted, though he could feel his face flushing in embarrassment. He really had to stop doing that, to stop wanting to know where Remus was every minute of every day. To stop wondering with jealousy what his friend was doing every time he left his sight. To stop imagining what it would be like to have Remus feel the same way about him. Ah hell, there was no chance of that so what was to stop him from at least thinking about the possibility? It’s not like he was ever going to get to do any more than think about it. 

“Can we at least have a hint at what this prank is?” Peter asked. 

“Can we at least know it isn’t going to cause us a lot of embarrassment or get us detentions?” James added.

“It won’t,” Sirius replied before Remus could open his mouth. 

“You sound very sure about that,” Remus said with a smirk. 

“You won’t risk getting a detention,” Sirius stated with a confident grin. “Since becoming a prefect you’ve been very careful about just how far you go with pranks. That badge ruined you for any truly great pranking.”

Remus grinned back. “You know me so well,” he finally sighed. 

“So any hints?” Peter asked again.

“Only that it will surprise you all and Sirius especially,” Remus replied with another smirk in Sirius’s direction. 

\--xXx--

“Tea-reading this week,” James said with a grin. “Good job I’m prepared this time.” He pulled a small flask from the pocket of his robes so that the other marauders could see. 

“Firewhiskey?” Sirius whispered the question.

“What else?” James replied. “Medicinal purposes.”

“To save us from dying of boredom,” Peter sniggered. 

Remus shook his head in mock disappointment at James whilst silently thanking the powers that be for James’s predictability. He casually checked the small flask in his own pocket and decided in that moment that today was the day, especially since he knew that James’s firewhiskey would disguise the flavour of the potion he was planning to slip into his friend’s drink himself. 

\--xXx--

“As my NEWT students, reading the leaves should be second nature to you now,” Professor Delphi declared as she walked around the room, filling the students’ cups with tea. “You should now be able to ‘see’ and recognise all the universally recognised symbols, which is why today you will not be using textbooks to assist you in your readings.”

A collective groan went up around the room at that. It meant, of course, that they would have to actually try and remember something about what the images in the soggy leaves meant. 

“I see,” Sirius intoned in a low voice as he reached for Remus’s cup. “I see…that your teabag burst.”

Remus snorted and tried to hide his grin from Professor Delphi who was unfortunately hovering nearby. As the only four boys in her NEWT class she seemed to think that this meant that one or more of them was exceptionally gifted and had been dropping subtle hints ever since the first sixth year lesson that she hoped one of them had ‘the sight’. It was her obsession with that particular topic that had given Remus the idea for the prank he was about to put into motion. 

As soon as Professor Delphi had moved on, Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it at his cup, still held in Sirius’s hand. 

Sirius looked at the message in the tea-leaves then looked at Remus with a raise of one elegant eyebrow. Remus grinned and gave a small nod. Sirius smirked back and winked. 

“It’s the grim!” Sirius screamed at the top of his lungs as he threw Remus’s cup across the room and continued to holler about what he’d supposedly seen in the cup. Remus pushed his chair back out of the way, knowing from past experience that Sirius at his most dramatic was best viewed from a distance. 

James and Peter roared with laughter as Sirius grabbed hold of Professor Delphi’s robes and continued to screech about the leaves, the grim and the impending death of one of his best friends. 

Remus made sure to keep an eye on James and Peter and once he was sure that no eyes were on him he poured the carefully prepared potion into James’s cup. He hoped that it worked. Potions had never been his best subject and this brew was far more complicated than anything he’d had to make for his OWL. Thankfully he’d had a little help from Slughorn’s prize pupil, Lily Evans.

Providing she was as brilliant as Slughorn claimed, and providing the additional spell on the potion had been done correctly it would be entertaining for all of them, James included. 

Finally he caught Sirius’s eye and winked at him, silently communicating that the distraction had worked and he could sit back down again. Not that Sirius took any notice and continued to waste as much time as he could whilst wailing about how he could never cope with the loss of poor Remus before launching into an impromptu speech about what a good friend he’d been et cetera, et cetera. No sense in settling back down to work too soon when a perfectly good distraction was working so well. 

After fifteen minutes of Sirius Black crying on her shoulder, Professor Delphi decided that enough was enough and guided the apparently distraught boy back to his seat, mumbling to Remus about how loved he was by his friends and how she hoped he appreciated them all, especially Sirius. 

“So do you appreciate me?” Sirius whispered across the table. 

“Well I certainly appreciated the distraction,” Remus whispered back. “Nice work.”

“Appreciate it enough to tell me what you poured into Prongs’s tea?”

“Not that much.”

“Git.”

“You’ll see in a few minutes anyway,” Remus said. “Just watch and see.”

Partially appeased, Sirius turned his attention to James who had added to his tea from his own flask and was now gulping down the tea. 

“Nothing’s happening,” Sirius complained. 

“It will,” Remus smirked. “It just has to be triggered. Ah here’s Lily now.”

“What’s she doing here?”

“Delivering me my Divination textbook,” Remus explained. “I accidentally left it with her books in the library this morning so that she could come and watch the show.”

“Why does Evans know about the prank and not me?”

“Because she helped me.”

Sirius looked at him in astonishment. “You got Evans to help you with a prank?” 

“She’s not that much of a stickler for the rules,” Remus replied. “She likes a bit of fun as much as the rest of us.”

“Lily!” James, who had been topping up his tea again, was a little slow on the uptake and had finally noticed the redhead entering the room. 

“Yeah, Prongs,” Remus replied with a teasing smile. “Your future _bride_ has just arrived.”

Suddenly James stilled and his teacup fell from his hand and smashed on the floor. Professor Delphi looked dismayed, having already lost one cup at the hands of Sirius Black. 

James sat in his chair with a glazed expression on his face. However, unlike his usual glazed expressions when Lily was in the room this one was not directed at the girl in question. He sat as still as a statue for several minutes. 

“So far Moony, I have to say I’m not that impressed,” Sirius muttered. “This expression isn’t that much different from his usual Evans-induced comas.”

“Patience is a virtue,” Remus replied with a smirk. “He’s coming out of it now.”

“Oh Merlin!” James gasped and he gripped the edge of the table. “I had a vision!”

“What?” Peter squealed. “A real one?”

“A honest to goodness, totally real, vision! Professor Delphi! I had a vision!” James leapt from his seat and launched himself at the Professor, who after her experience with Sirius earlier managed to jump out of the way just in time. James landed in an ungracious heap on the floor as he continued to declare that he’d had the vision to end all visions. 

“Mr Potter, please control yourself,” Professor Delphi told him as she tried to edge away from his outstretched hands. 

“But I had a vision!”

“In case you weren’t aware, this lesson is about reading tea-leaves, not about having visions. We won’t be covering visions until after Easter.”

“But I had a vision!” James repeated for the third time. 

“Then I expect an excellent essay on it to be handed in next lesson,” Professor Delphi stated with a bright smile. “But for now, the tea-leaves are waiting.”

James clambered back to his feet and made his way back to his seat, somewhat deflated by the teacher’s lack of enthusiasm for his vision and the extra homework he’d suddenly found himself landed with. 

Remus winked at Lily who had been just as amused as anyone else at seeing James Potter make a complete idiot out of himself. 

\--xXx--

Sirius could tell that James could barely contain himself and as soon as the class was dismissed he dragged his three friends up to the Gryffindor common room so that he could tell them what he had seen.

“I saw my wedding, to Lily!” he announced with a grin that looked almost painful. “It was perfect. It’s going to happen. I saw it.”

“This would be the same Lily who won’t even go to Hogsmeade with you on a single date?” Peter asked sceptically. 

“She was dressed all in white,” James continued, almost as though Peter hadn’t spoken at all. “Padfoot, you were best man.”

“Of course,” Sirius replied. “Who else would have that dubious honour?”

“We got married in a little muggle church.” James sighed dreamily. “I think her sister was there. That one that looks like a horse.”

“She only has one sister,” Remus pointed out. He appeared to be trying not to laugh at the rather apt description of Petunia Evans.

“It was perfect,” James sighed again. “I’m going to go ask her out again. She has to say yes now that I’ve seen us getting married.” At that, James rushed from the common room as he went to track down the elusive Lily Evans. 

“When do you think he’ll remember the map?” Peter asked quietly. 

“Probably after he’s covered half the school without it,” Sirius chuckled. “Maybe you should go get it from upstairs and take it to him?”

Peter nodded in agreement and disappeared up the stairs to the dorms. 

“So what did you put in his tea?” Sirius asked with a smirk. 

“A potion that was once used by seers to assist them in getting visions when they were drying up a bit.”

“Really?”

“Er…”

“Come on, you can tell me,” Sirius whined as he inched closer to Remus and rested his chin on the other boy’s shoulder and stuck out his lower lip in a pout. 

“It might have a tiny, _tiny_ , variation on that original potion,” Remus admitted with a guilty flush. 

“Tell!” Sirius demanded. 

“Well the original potion was kind of designed for actual seers. This one has been modified so that non-seers can have visions. Just not actual visions, these manifest themselves when key words trigger them.”

“You mean you made James have a vision about his wedding to Lily?” Sirius asked.

“Yep. I had to do a spell whilst brewing the potion and those, combined with a few mental images of a church and Lily’s family of my own…well it enabled me to set up the vision for James to see. You could say that he saw what I wanted him to see.”

“You do realise that he’s going to be even more impossible now than he was in the first place?” Sirius shook his head and buried his face in his hands. “I thought you said I’d like this prank?”

“I believe I said it would surprise you,” Remus corrected.

Sirius snorted. “Well surprise is right,” he muttered. “I thought you’d have had more sense than to encourage James in his Evans obsession.”

“That’s just the first vision,” Remus smirked. “There’s more to come.”

“Please tell me it’s not their wedding night!” Sirius screamed as he grabbed Remus by the shirt and practically climbed into his lap. “Tell me it’s not!”

Remus laughed and shook his head. “I can assure you that I’ve no desire to Lily naked, and even less desire to see James in the buff.”

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and leaned forward so that his forehead was pressed against Remus’s. It was only when the initial panic had passed that he realised he was straddling Remus and that if he moved his head forward a mere inch he would be able to taste those lips that he’d been dreaming about for months. 

“Padfoot?” Remus whispered.

“Moony?” Sirius whispered back, not moving from his spot. 

“We have an audience.”

“Huh?”

“An audience,” Remus repeated, pushing Sirius back slightly and nodding towards a group of fourth year girls who had just come in through the portrait hole. 

“It’s not like we’re doing anything,” Sirius muttered as he pulled back and re-positioned himself beside Remus once again. _Chance would be a fine thing._

\--xXx--

“You didn’t tell me you were going to make him ‘see’ a wedding!” Lily complained. “With me as the bloody blushing bride!”

“You wouldn’t have helped me with the potion if I’d told you,” Remus replied sheepishly.

“You should have told me,” Lily accused with a glare that made Remus wonder, not for the first time, whether James would ever get the girl to date him. 

“I had to make sure that the first vision was something he’d believe,” Remus explained. 

“Why would he believe that?” 

“Because he’s…” Remus’s voice trailed off as he tried to think of a way to describe James without making him sound like an obsessed stalker. 

“Because he’s an obsessed stalker?” Lily supplied, since she knew James almost as well as Remus did. “I thought the whole point of this prank of yours was to sort out you-know-what?”

“It was.”

“Was?”

“Is.”

“You chickened out didn’t you?” Lily accused, her eyes narrowing dangerously. 

“…”

“Remus!” Lily threw her hands in the air and began pacing the empty Transfiguration classroom where she had finally pinned Remus down to demand an explanation as to why James had, since the previous evening, told everyone from Professor Flitwick to Mrs Norris about the upcoming wedding. 

“I just…”

“Chickened out,” Lily repeated. 

“…”

“Oh Remus,” Lily sighed as she sat down on a chair next to the table where Remus was perched. “What happened to ‘this is the perfect way to find out what James would think of the idea’, and ‘I can find out if it’s just me without actually asking’ and ‘I can see if those _moments_ mean what I think they do’?”

“It would have worked,” Remus muttered. “I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was going to. But I changed my mind at the last minute.”

“You’re supposed to be a Gryffindor,” Lily pointed out impatiently. “All brave and gung-ho and rushing in recklessly.”

“I’m a terrible Gryffindor,” Remus sighed. “I really wanted to use the prank to find out all that but…”

“But…?” Lily prompted after a few minutes of silence from Remus.

“What if I’m wrong?” Remus whispered. “What if it _is_ just me? What if I’m the only one who keeps obsessing about those moments?”

“Well you’ll never know if you don’t make an effort to find out,” Lily pointed out reasonably. 

Remus nodded silently and they sat quietly for a few more minutes.

“So what other visions have you got planned for James?” Lily asked. “Please tell me you haven’t given him the vision of a wedding night or anything else that involves me?” 

“Why does everyone seem to think I’d want to imagine something like that?” Remus asked. 

“Everyone?”

“Sirius,” Remus clarified. 

“Ah!”

“I promise the rest of the stuff was general visions, like pranks and post arriving and…well stuff that I can easily set up to come true within a few hours. Oh, and I put in one of a surprise party for Peter since you just know that James is going to forget his birthday again. I wanted stuff that would convince him he was really a seer. I just left off the last one.”

“The important one.” Lily snorted. “The one the rest of the visions were supposed to be building up to.” 

“It’s better this way,” Remus sighed. 

“Why do you say that?”

“Because this way I can still imagine that I’m right and that those moments are what I think they are. Because if I’m wrong and he finds out what I thought then I won’t have even them to look forward to.”

“I probably don’t really want to know, but just how often do you obsess about this?” 

Remus looked at Lily curiously. It wasn’t so much the question itself, as the tone of voice it was asked in. It was the same tone of voice James had used when asking him if he _really_ wanted to read the book that he’d accidentally dropped out of the Astronomy Tower window. It was the tone of voice that meant there was something Remus didn’t know, something important and something which would no doubt cause him some degree of aggravation. 

“Not that often.”

Lily raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe once or twice a day.”

A smirk joined the raised eyebrow.

“All the bloody time! Happy now?”

“You did read the footnotes in the spell book, right?”

“Huh?” Remus tried to figure out the direction Lily’s quick mind had gone in. It wasn’t that he was particularly slow at getting from point A to point B. It was just that Lily often went from point A to point E and expected everyone else to figure out the route she had taken. 

“The footnotes,” Lily repeated with a trace of impatience. “The note that said that if anyone casting the spell had seer blood in their family, then strong subconscious thoughts could manifest themselves as visions in the person who drinks the potion.”

Remus breathed a sigh of relief. “I don’t have any seer blood in my family.”

“Are you sure?”

“Er.”

“What were the names of your great-great-grandparents?”

“Er…”

“See!” Lily crowed. “You don’t even know their names. You can’t be sure that there isn’t one in your family tree somewhere. That’s why it’s important to clear your mind of all thoughts when mentally picturing the things you want the potion drinker to see in their visions.”

“You don’t think that I might have accidentally…” Remus’s voice trailed off and he felt his stomach lurch. 

“Could be interesting if you have,” Lily replied with a grin. 

“Not the word I’d have chosen,” Remus muttered as he buried his head in his hands. 

\--xXx--

Remus couldn’t pinpoint exactly when the first ‘moment’ had happened. Nor could he recall when it was he’d first started to look forward to them. He just knew that for some time he’d been wondering…or more like obsessing…about them, and about the boy who was in the centre of them. 

Whenever he was in one of those moments he was invariably with Sirius, and only vaguely aware of anything or anyone else around them. That Sirius seemed to be completely oblivious to the rest of the world only added to his confidence that it wasn’t just him who was aware of the nameless ‘something’ between them. 

Whilst rummaging through an old textbook Remus had stumbled across the potion and spell to induce visions and the idea of planting a few visions in James’s mind had been too much to resist. It had only been later that he’d decided to use the prank to plant within James’s mind the idea of himself and Sirius as a couple. All he needed to do was to make him have a vision of himself and Sirius in one of those moments and for Remus to imagine taking things just a fraction further than either of them had gone. 

But he’d turned Slytherin when the time came and hadn’t dared to implant the one vision that would put an end, one way or another, to all his obsessing. Instead the last vision would be the one of Peter’s party which was a nice climax to the week of visions but not what the way he’d once wanted to end it. 

He pushed aside the horrible thought that Lily had put in his own mind…the thought that James might have an unplanned vision of himself and Sirius without his having set it up.

\--xXx--

“I’m thinking a white tux,” James was saying when Remus entered the dorm later that day. “I know it was black in the vision but perhaps this is just so that I can make the appropriate changes after seeing things from an objective point of view. What do you think Padfoot?”

“Moony, save me!” Sirius wailed for what Remus was sure was the hundredth time that day. 

“And the three of you will have to wear matching suits,” James ordered as he pointed a finger at each of them.

“I’m a pureblood wizard,” Sirius pointed out. “I don’t even _own_ a muggle suit!”

“Well you’ll have to order one,” James replied with a wave of his hand.

“Mooooooneeeeeeey!” Sirius wailed again before trying to suffocate himself with his pillow. 

“Now what about the flowers?” James continued. “Would it be too cliché to have Lilies?”

“I’d go for Amaryllis if I were you,” Remus suggested with a smirk. Three blank faces stared back at him and he groaned and shook his head as he explained the meaning of the flower. Sirius and Peter grinned and agreed that the flower that meant pride was the perfect one for Prongs. 

James on the other hand ignored the suggestion and turned to Sirius. “Have you made a start on your speech yet?”

“Speech?”

“The best man has to give a speech.”

“Oh _that_ speech,” Sirius replied, shooting another glare at Remus. “No I haven’t. Thought I’d leave it until the stag night, which incidentally is the only thing I’ve heard so far in the planning that sounds even remotely interesting.”

“That won’t give you enough time to catalogue all my virtues,” James pointed out frantically. “You really need to get started right away.”

Sirius glared at James, glared at Remus, threw a pillow at James and stood up. “I’m going to go take a shower. And if I hear a single word about bloody bridal showers for Evans I’ll not be held responsible for my actions. Is that clear?”

Remus chuckled to himself as Sirius stalked towards the bathroom. It was a moment before he realised that James wasn’t answering. Apparently Sirius had the same realisation and when he reached the door he turned back for a moment. 

“Prongs?” Peter asked curiously as he waved a hand in front of James’s face. 

Remus frowned and mentally backtracked over Sirius’s last words. The words to trigger the visions could be said by anyone but he was sure that Sirius hadn’t said one of them. He’d made sure that the words were ones that wouldn’t crop up in a normal conversation. He hoped that the word bridal might have triggered a repeat of the vision that the word bride had caused but the lurching in his stomach betrayed his anxiety at the possibility that Lily might have been right and that he’d subconsciously given James an unplanned vision. 

“So what’s he seeing now?” Sirius asked as Peter looked at them curiously. 

Remus took a moment to explain the prank to Peter, who was sworn to secrecy immediately. 

“So what _is_ he seeing?” Peter asked as Sirius clicked his fingers in front of James’s face, hoping for a reaction. 

“I don’t know,” Remus admitted. “He shouldn’t be seeing anything at the moment.”

“Well clearly he is,” Sirius pointed out. “Seems to be lasting a while too. We must have used a word that triggers one.”

“No we haven’t,” Remus insisted as he pulled the list of words out of the pocket of his robes to double check.

“I think he’s coming out of it,” Peter said, leaning forward in anticipation. 

James blinked slowly a couple of times as he looked around the room. All the colour had drained from his face and he looked from one boy to the other in turn. 

“Prongs?” Sirius asked with a grin. “Did you have another vision?”

“What did you see?” Peter added.

“I…I…” James shook his head wildly before leaping up from his bed and bolting from the room. 

“What the hell?” Sirius asked. 

Remus squirmed on his bed and rubbed his nose nervously. 

“What did he see?” Peter asked.

“I don’t know,” Remus admitted quietly, wondering just what subconscious thoughts had been running through his mind at the exact time he’d cast the spell.

\--xXx--

“Potter?” 

James looked up at the familiar voice of Lily Evans and for the first time in his life he didn’t know what to say.

“Are you okay?” Lily asked as she sat down next to him on the courtyard bench.

“I had a vision,” James muttered. 

“So you said.”

“Another one.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“It was…I saw…they were…oh Merlin…”

“They?” Lily asked with a concerned frown that didn’t give away that she already knew, or at least suspected, exactly who ‘they’ were. 

“RemusandSirius,” James blurted.

“Sorry, didn’t quite catch that.”

“Remus and Sirius,” James shouted. 

Lily hesitated to ask what precisely it was that James had seen. She could already tell from James’s reaction that it was something from Remus’s subconscious mind, and she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know what sort of thoughts Remus had been having about Sirius. 

It seemed however that James didn’t want to know about those thoughts either, but he did and now he’d started talking Lily was going to hear about them too…whether she wanted to or not. 

“I saw them together.”

_Like they aren’t in each other’s pockets all the time anyway._

“In the boys’ bathroom.”

_Well really Potter, you have shared the bathroom with them for over six years now. Chances are they’ve used the facilities at the same time before now._

“In the shower.”

_Why don’t I like the sound of where this is going?_

“Together.”

_I really don’t need to hear this._

“Naked.”

_You can shut up now Potter._

“And Sirius was…he was…”

_Wow, the power of the mind is really something. He’s actually shutting up. No, wait a minute…I guess he was only pausing for breath._

“He was on his knees in the shower and he was giving Remus a blow job.”

_This is karma. I help Remus pull a prank and this is my punishment._

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” James asked after a moment of silence.

“It’s bad karma,” replied Lily, saying the first thing that came into her head.

“What? How do you figure that? What could I have possibly done to deserve seeing my two best mates _like that_?”

“Er James,” Lily hesitated, partly because she rarely used his Christian name and partly because she wasn’t sure what to say without firstly betraying Remus’s confidence and secondly incriminating herself. 

“What?” James mumbled from where his head was buried in his hands. 

“Um. Not that I believe these visions are real or anything…”

“You think I’d make this up?” James shouted. “That I’d be thinking about my friends doing stuff like that with each other?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Just if you forget about the vision for a moment and think about your friends. Have you never thought, even for an instant, that maybe there’s something more between them than friendship?”

“I must have blocked it out,” James declared suddenly.

“What?” Lily asked, completely confused. If Remus had been privy to the conversation he would have considered pointing out to Lily that she and James were on the same type of route planners when it came to conversations. Unfortunately he wasn’t and all Lily could do was open and close her mouth a few times as she tried to figure out what James was talking about now. 

“I must have seen them together, walked in on them or something, and blocked it out of my mind,” James explained. “Now my seer powers are kicking in, it’s bringing it all back.”

“Well, as long as that’s sorted,” Lily smiled and stood up. James had jumped to entirely the wrong conclusion but at least he seemed to be recovering from his initial shock and she had the opening to make her escape. 

\--xXx--

Lily marched into the boys’ dormitory, and gave the overwhelming impression of a girl on a mission. 

“Peter, James needs you down in the kitchens.”

Peter looked back at her mutely.

“That means bugger off,” Lily explained, pointing meaningfully at the door. 

“I’ll come with you,” Remus offered. 

Lily however had other plans in mind for him and shoved him backwards onto the bed. “Oh no you don’t,” she warned. 

“I’ll leave you two to it then,” Sirius said as he crept towards the door. 

“Black! Bed!” Lily commanded as she shot him a glare. Sirius, with almost canine instincts, sat on the bed abruptly. 

Five minutes later and the two boys had still not dared to move from their respective beds. 

“Evans?” Sirius asked impatiently. “Did you actually want something?”

“Want something?” Lily squealed. “WANT SOMETHING?”

“Lily?” Remus stood up and steered her towards James’s bed. Perhaps the knowledge that Lily Evans had once sat on his bed would help James recover from whatever it was he’d seen. 

“I just had a _lovely_ little chat with James,” Lily hissed through clenched teeth. “He is now convinced – and I am in no way to blame for him thinking this – he now thinks that what he saw in his vision has already happened and that he somehow blocked it out of his mind.”

“You know what he saw?” Remus whispered. 

“What was it?” Sirius excitedly asked as he hopped off his bed in glee. “What did he see?”

Lily ignored him and turned to Remus. “You remember what we talked about earlier?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess you have seer blood somewhere in your ancestry.”

“Oh.”

“What’s going on?” Sirius asked. “What are you talking about?”

“How bad are we talking here?” Remus asked, ignoring Sirius entirely.

“Well you know what sort of vision you planned to include but didn’t?” Lily said with a wary glance at Sirius from the corner of her eye.

“He got it anyway?” Remus guessed.

“He got the x-rated version of it,” Lily hissed. 

“…”

“What are you two going on about?” Sirius whined. 

“You’re joking right?” Remus pleaded. “Lily, please tell me you’re joking?”

“The shower!” Lily snapped, glancing meaningfully towards the door to the bathroom. 

“You’re not joking.” Remus paled considerably and he wondered how he’d ever be able to face Prongs again. 

That one word – shower – told him all he needed to know. 

Sirius was forever walking in on him when he was taking a shower. He’d be wanting to borrow his comb or checking what the homework due that morning was, or something equally trivial…something that could easily wait until he emerged from the bathroom. But Sirius had never been known for his patience and had taken to barging into the bathroom whenever he liked, just like he’d done on the morning Remus had cast the spell to go with the potion. 

_“Hey Moony? You in here?”_

“No!” Remus called back as he reached for the shampoo. 

“I’m not going to fall for that one,” Sirius said with a smirk as he peered round the door. “You alone in here?”

“What do you want Padfoot?”

“I wanted to ask you something,” Sirius said as he sidled over to the showers. 

“Let me guess. You haven’t done your Defence homework and want to borrow my essay?”

“Am I that transparent?”

“Afraid so.”

“So can I?”

Remus sighed. “At least put it into your own words this time.”

“Thanks Moony,” Sirius gushed. 

“It’s in my bag under the bed.”

“Thanks.”

“…”

“…”

“Padfoot?”

“Yes?”

“Why are you still here?”

Sirius had mumbled something Remus hadn’t been able to catch before heading back to the dorm. Remus meanwhile had turned off the hot tap so that he was doused in freezing cold water, and tried, apparently unsuccessfully, to push any and all thoughts of Sirius joining him in the shower out of his mind. 

“Remus?” Lily’s voice drifted towards him through the sea of panic that was threatening to engulf him. “Remus, you need to breathe.”

“Moony?” Sirius’s voice joined Lily’s and the panic increased tenfold. “Evans! What have you done to him?”

“Me? I’m just trying to help!”

“By charging in here, screeching nonsense?”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“Does it look like you’ve helped him?”

“He’s just in shock.”

“That _you_ put him in!”

“I just…”

“Just get out of here Evans!”

“But…”

“I’ll take care of Remus.”

“I’m not leaving him alone with you.”

“You’re the one who made me stay here.”

“I only did that because this is about you too.”

“What’s about me too?”

“This!”

“This what? You’re making even less sense than usual and that’s saying something. The last time you sounded this deluded was back in fifth year when you were harping on about how Snivellus wasn’t as bad as we thought.”

“This!” Lily exclaimed, waving her arms around in a frantic sort of gesture that only succeeded in clocking Remus around the head as he sat back up again. 

Remus groaned and clutched his head. If he was expecting an apology from Lily though, he was sadly mistaken. 

Lily and Sirius continued to yell at each other while Remus, keeping an eye open for flailing arms, ducked out of the room and left them to it. 

Even without the map, it didn’t take Remus long to track down James. He was consoling himself with a chocolate cake from the kitchens and Peter was with him. The sounds of barely concealed horror drifted towards him as he approached the two boys. 

“It was just awful!” James exclaimed as he waved his arms around to emphasise his point and took another bite of cake.

“So you keep saying,” Peter replied with a scowl. “I just can’t see why you’re so surprised about this.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well you’ve been saying you suspected something between them ever since fourth year.”

“I have?”

“Ever since Padfoot started utilising the library.”

Remus watched as James opened his mouth to reply and a now familiar glazed look appeared on his face. 

“Prongs?” Peter asked as he waved a hand in front of his friend’s face. “Bloody hell, not another one.”

Remus cautiously approached them and waited until James had come out of his trance. The look of horror was back on his face as he stared back at him. “You wouldn’t?” he spluttered.

“Wouldn’t what?” Remus asked, wondering what precisely it was that James had just seen.

“Not in the library!” James cried. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh!” Remus felt his face flushing as he realised that James had just seen another of his fantasies. He restrained himself from pointing out that he didn’t think it would be an act of total utter sacrilege to have Sirius take him in the library. Maybe he could bluff it out.

Something in Remus’s expression must have registered in James’s face though, and the cogs and wheels of his mind finally seemed to be chugging along at their normal speed again. “This is a prank, isn’t it?” James pointed an accusing finger at Remus. 

“Not exactly,” Remus muttered, his face reddening even more. 

“Hey Potter!” An impatient voice called from the far end of the corridor. “Are you too good to show up for practice now? Get your ass to the Quidditch pitch or you’re off the team! Don’t think that you don’t need the workout!”

Remus looked across at the Gryffindor Quidditch captain but James’s gaze was glazing over again. 

“Not another one?” Peter muttered. 

“I’m out of here,” Remus said as he bolted back up the stairs. He’d noticed that James’s gaze had seemed to have glazed over at the words Quidditch pitch and library. He thought back to the first unscheduled vision and realised that the word shower had must have been the trigger. It was something of a relief to know that the visions were being triggered by specific words, but not knowing what those words were was a bit of a problem.

He wondered if Lily might have an idea of how to concoct an antidote that they could somehow get down James’s throat without him killing them both. Though he’d probably forgive Lily anything, Remus mused to himself. He on the other hand might as well be writing out his last will and testament. 

Remus dashed up the stairs and back to the boys’ dormitory, he knew even before he reached the room that Lily was still in there with Sirius. 

“Arrogant git!”

“Stupid bint!”

“Can I interrupt?” Remus asked as he re-entered the room. It was obvious from the reactions of his two friends as they looked at the spot on the bed he’d recently been sitting on, that they hadn’t even noticed that he’d left. 

“Moony, where’ve you been?”

“Out. Lily I need to talk to you about an antidote for the potion.”

“Why?” Sirius asked. “Seems to me like this is the best prank you’ve ever pulled. Prongs looked ready to burst a blood vessel.”

“Lily?” Remus pleaded, ignoring Sirius as best he could, which was not the easiest thing in the world since the other boy had pulled him into a friendly hug and was enthusiastically patting him on the back as he congratulated him on a truly brilliant prank. 

“There isn’t one,” Lily replied. “It’ll wear off by the end of the week anyway.”

“I don’t think I’ll live that long,” Remus sighed as he finally escaped from Sirius’s arms and threw himself on his bed in despair.

“Don’t be overly dramatic,” Lily scolded. “I’ve told you before, that’s Sirius’s job.”

“Hey!” Sirius scowled. 

“Remus,” Lily said as she sat down beside him. “So what if James saw something he didn’t expect? It’s just one itty bitty…what?” she asked as Remus mumbled something into his pillow.

“It’s not just one,” Remus groaned as he turned his head slightly. 

“Oh.”

“Does this mean Prongs has had another vision?” Sirius asked gleefully as he rubbed his hands together in anticipation of more teasing. 

“Two more,” Remus replied. “That I know of.”

“I’m sorry Remus,” Lily offered quietly. 

Remus suddenly shot up into a sitting position a look of triumph on his face. “We can deafen him!” he declared with a grin. 

“Why would that help?” Sirius asked.

“Because the visions are still being triggered by words,” Remus explained. “I just don’t know which ones. So the easiest thing will be to make him deaf so he can’t hear any words at all.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit impractical?” Lily asked quietly. “Not to mention really advanced magic. By the time you’ve looked up and mastered the spell the potion will have worn off anyway.”

“But he can’t go on like this all week,” Remus sighed. “He’ll kill me…if I don’t die of embarrassment first.”

“What have you got to be embarrassed about?” asked Sirius. 

“You haven’t told him?” Remus turned to Lily astonished. “What have you been doing up here all this time?”

“Er…”

“Am I missing something?” Sirius asked. 

“You want a list?” Lily asked with mock sweetness.

“Lily, please!” Remus pleaded. “This is neither the time nor the place for baiting him. I need your help.”

“But what hasn’t she told me?” Sirius whined. 

Remus ignored him again and continued casting hopeful puppy dog eyes at Lily. He couldn’t do ‘the look’ as well as Sirius could but he knew that Lily had a soft spot for him that might work in his favour. 

“Remus, I’m sorry but I can’t help you with this.” Remus could tell from her expression that she was genuinely sorry and he felt his hope disappear. “Maybe he won’t have any more of them?” she optimistically suggested.

“Fat chance,” Remus muttered. 

“You don’t know that.”

“The visions seem to be triggered by places being mentioned,” Remus explained. 

“Well how many places have you had those sort of thoughts about?” Lily asked. 

Remus flushed bright red. 

Lily giggled.

Sirius stamped his foot and demanded they tell him what was going on. 

“I’ll leave you to explain to him,” said Lily, nodding her head towards Sirius who looked like he was ready to launch into a full blown tantrum. 

“You’ll let me know if you think of something?” Remus asked. 

“Of course,” Lily replied before she shut the door behind her. 

Remus looked up at Sirius who was now standing at the foot of his bed, his arms folded across his chest and his foot tapping impatiently. 

“I guess you want to know what’s going on?” Remus asked, hoping that perhaps Sirius might do the unprecedented and say ‘no’. 

Sirius didn’t reply; he didn’t need to. 

“Prongs is having visions that I didn’t plan for him to have.”

“Yeah, I got that part earlier. And…?”

“They appear to be subconscious thoughts I was having whilst brewing the potion that are now manifesting themselves as hallucinogenic realities in Prongs’s mind.”

Sirius looked confused for a moment or two. “So Prongs is having visions of some of your private thoughts?”

“Yes.”

“X-rated thoughts,” Sirius grinned widely. “Like I said this is the best prank you’ve ever pulled.”

“You might say that now,” Remus muttered. 

“REMUS!” James barged into the dormitory, Quidditch practice apparently forgotten.

Remus shrank back up against his headboard. 

“One question!” James shouted. “And I want the truth.”

Remus nodded.

“Is there any location in this bloody castle that you two _haven’t_ shagged in?” James yelled. “In the library, under the Quidditch bleachers, in the hospital wing, in the common room…is there any place I can actually go in this school where I am not now going to be reminded of these visions?”

Remus squirmed uncomfortably. “Er…Dumbledore’s office is probably safe.”

“Well that’s a great help!” James sarcastically replied. 

“They aren’t real you know,” Remus whispered. “They’re just really vivid thoughts. I haven’t actually…we haven’t…we’ve not…they’re just thoughts.”

“Considering what those thoughts are, and just _how_ vivid they are, that really isn’t much of a comfort,” James snapped. 

“Do you hate me now?” Remus asked cautiously. 

“Hate you?” Sirius echoed. “Why would Prongs hate you?”

“I don’t hate you,” James sighed as he sat down beside Remus. “But you could have just told me instead of letting me find out this way.”

“I didn’t mean for you to get those visions,” Remus assured him. “It was an accident. I wasn’t concentrating properly when I cast the spell and worked on the potion.”

“Glad to hear it,” James replied with a grimace. 

“You don’t mind?”

“Mind what?” Sirius asked. “Why isn’t anyone telling me anything?”

“Well that depends on if you’re going to do anything about it,” James said to Remus with a grin. 

“I don’t know…”

“From what I could see…er…the feelings were reciprocated.” 

“Well they would be in the visions,” Remus muttered. “They’re all from my mind after all. I’m hardly going to daydream and fantasise about being rejected, am I?”

“I wasn’t talking about the visions,” James said with another grin. “I’ll admit that the visions shocked me, and I really, _really_ don’t want to have any more of them, but you’re one of my best mates and in time, with a lot of grovelling from you, I will probably be able to forgive you for this prank.”

“I’m still waiting,” Sirius announced. 

“I’ll leave you to explain to him,” James said, inadvertently echoing Lily’s earlier words. 

“So?” Sirius asked after the door had closed again.

“…”

“I’m waiting.”

“…”

“Were those thoughts you had, those visions, about Evans?” Sirius asked.

Remus looked up at his friend in shock and shook his head mutely. 

“So who?” Sirius asked. 

Remus just shook his head again. 

“Why can’t you tell me?” Sirius asked. “I’m your best friend…aren’t I?”

Remus nodded.

“Prongs knows who it is. Evans knows. Why can’t you tell me? I understand you not wanting to tell Wormtail…”

“Peter knows,” Remus muttered.

“Is there anyone who doesn’t bloody know?” Sirius snapped. “Apart from me that is?” 

“It’s you, all right!” Remus yelled. “It’s you!”

\--xXx--

Sirius stood silently, too stunned to say anything as Remus pushed him out of the way and ran from the room. 

_Moony had been having x-rated thoughts about_ him!

“Moony!” he yelled as he raced from the room and ran, stumbling down the stairs and into the common room.

“Prongs, where did Moony go?” he asked James who was sitting eerily still in a chair near the window.

“Dumbledore’s office, Dumbledore’s office, Dumbledore’s office,” James repeated over and over.

“What’s he doing there? Is he in trouble? What’s happened?”

“Dumbledore’s office, Dumbledore’s office…”

Sirius shook his head as he remembered Remus’s comment that the only place he hadn’t imagined them together was the headmaster’s room. He knew he wouldn’t be getting any help from Prongs any time soon. 

Peter wandered over from the other side of the room. He raised an eyebrow at Sirius silently asking for an explanation for their other friend’s behaviour. 

“The names of places are what triggers the visions,” Sirius explained. “Dumbledore’s office doesn’t.”

“Oh,” Peter replied before grinning widely. 

The last thing Sirius heard as he climbed out of the portrait hole was Peter rattling off the list of various locations in and around Hogwarts. He grinned to himself as he hurried down the stairs. Lucky for Prongs that Remus had been the one to pull the prank. If it had been Sirius himself then even the headmaster’s office wouldn’t have been safe for Prongs to think about. 

“Evans!” he called out as he spotted the redhead at the other end of the corridor.

“Black,” she replied. “What have you done to Remus now?”

“Nothing, he just ran out. Have you seen him?”

“Why should I tell you?” Lily asked, the question harsh but her tone betraying that she really wanted him to answer. 

“Because Prongs is in the common room having one vision after another of me and Remus in intimate situations and I won’t stop you triggering them.”

“Wrong answer,” Lily sighed. “Not that having a laugh at James’s expense isn’t always a rather cheering thought.”

“Just tell me where Remus is,” Sirius demanded. 

“He looked upset. How do I know you’re not going to make things worse for him.”

“Because I’m in love with him, you stupid bint!” Sirius yelled. 

Lily raised a mocking eyebrow. “And insulting me would make me tell you where he is because?”

“Because he’s your friend too, and even more than you hate me, you want him to be happy.”

Lily looked thoughtful for a moment or two. “Oh my!” Lily breathed. 

“What?”

“You really do love him don’t you?”

“Of course I do! What the hell are we talking about here?”

“It’s just…”

“Just what?”

Lily hesitated a moment. “It’s just that I never thought you felt the same way about him. He’s been mooning over you for ages and I’ve seen you watching him but I thought you were…well…” Lily’s voice trailed off again at the look Sirius was giving her.

“You thought I’d have a fling with him and then dump him?” Sirius guessed, noting the guilty flush on Lily’s face. “Just tell me where he is…please Lily?”

“You called me Lily,” Lily said stupidly. 

“So? It’s your bloody name! Where is he?”

“You never call me Lily.”

“Can we move on from this and focus on _me_?” Sirius whined. “Where’s Remus?”

“In there,” Lily said, pointing to the open doorway of an empty classroom further down the corridor. 

Sirius ran down the corridor, wondering if Remus had heard what he’d said, he didn’t know whether to hope that he had, or that he hadn’t. 

“A thank you might have been nice!” Lily called after him. “Good manners don’t cost anything, you know.”

_Except a lifetime of expecting them to be displayed again._

Sirius walked into the classroom and immediately saw Remus perched on one of the tables. “Remus?” he said in a raspy voice, even as he wondered just when it was that he’d lost the power of speech. 

“Sirius,” Remus grinned back at him. 

“You heard me,” Sirius said as he shut the door behind him and leaned back against it.

“I bet half the school heard you, the way you were yelling like that.”

“I think you should know, I’m the jealous type,” Sirius said with a grin.

“Are you?”

“Oh yeah,” Sirius nodded and took a few steps towards Remus. “And at the moment I’m really jealous of Prongs.”

Remus expression didn’t reveal his thoughts at Sirius’s revelation. 

“You want to know why?” Sirius asked with a grin as he hopped up onto the table beside Remus. “I’m going to tell you anyway.”

“Like I couldn’t guess,” Remus snorted. 

“You could at least let me have my moment here,” Sirius chided with a fake frown of annoyance. 

“Okay Padfoot,” Remus dutifully replied as he rolled his eyes. “Please do tell me why you are jealous of Prongs.”

“Well Moony, since you’ve asked so nicely I’ll tell you why I’m jealous of Prongs.” Sirius’s voice went lower as he continued and when he raised his hand to brush Remus’s hair back from his face he realised he was shaking. “I’m jealous that Prongs has seen more of you than I ever have. He already knows what sounds you’ll make when I touch you. He’s seen your most intimate fantasies and I’m so jealous of that.”

“I think he’d happily forget them if he could,” Remus laughed. 

“So what about it?” Sirius asked with an uncharacteristically shy smile. “You want to see if the reality is as good as our imaginings are?”

“ _Our_ imaginings?” Remus asked. 

“I seem to recall that you haven’t considered the possibility of Dumbledore’s office,” Sirius suggested with a grin and a suggestive waggle of the eyebrows.

Remus laughed and shook his head. 

“Is that a no?” Sirius asked. 

Remus shook his head again and turned to face Sirius. 

“It’s a yes?” Sirius guessed again.

“I’m not sneaking into Dumbledore’s office,” Remus told him. 

Sirius smirked, resolving to try to talk Remus round at the first available opportunity. In the meantime however he would settle for just having Remus at all. 

“Remus?” he whispered. 

“Yes?” Remus breathed back and Sirius felt his heart start to race at their close proximity. 

He’d meant to ask first, Sirius told himself later. 

He’d meant to do things properly and ask permission.

He’d not been prepared for Remus to launch himself at him and pull him into what he was sure was the best kiss he’d ever had.

\--xXx--

“Thanks Lily,” James said as Peter opened and closed his mouth with no sound coming out. Her silencing spell had been executed to perfection. 

“So how have you liked your insight into the mind of Remus Lupin?” Lily asked with a smirk. 

“It’s always the quiet ones,” James muttered as he stood up and headed up towards the dorms. “I’m never going to be able to look him in the face again.”

“Of course you will,” Lily replied impatiently. 

“Easy for you to say,” James snorted as he approached the door to the dormitory he shared with the rest of the marauders. “You’ve not had to see your two best mates in positions you didn’t even know were possible, doing things to each other and…”

“Breathe Potter,” Lily advised as he started to panic again. “They’re your best friends. You knew this was going to happen eventually.”

“I’ve spent considerable time trying to convince myself I was wrong,” James pointed out. 

“They’re your best friends,” Lily repeated. “You’re going to go in there and tell them that you’re happy for them.” She pointed at the door for emphasis and James looked at her in surprise.

“They’re in there?” James hissed. “In the dorm?”

“They slipped up here just after Peter said Honeydukes,” Lily confirmed. “Remember, you’re very happy for them.”

“I’m very happy for them,” James repeated the phrase like a mantra several times before he pushed open the door. 

“NO!!!” he screamed and started clawing at his eyes. “Not another one! Lily make it stop!”

Lily merely replied to his panicked pleas with a hearty slap round the face. 

“What was that for?” James asked as he rubbed his cheek. 

“You were getting hysterical,” Lily muttered. “This isn’t a vision, I can see them too.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll be heading back downstairs then,” Lily said as she looked at the two boys sitting on the end of Remus’s bed with a smile. 

“Can I look now?” James asked as he stood with his back to his friends, gazing after the disappearing redhead. 

“You could have looked before,” Remus replied. “It’s not like we’re naked or anything.”

“But you were…you were…er…”

“Kissing,” Sirius interjected. 

“Does this really bother you?” Remus asked. “If it does we can…”

“No we bloody won’t,” Sirius interrupted. “I’m not sneaking around to save Prongs’s sensibilities. He can put up with us, just like we put up with all his Evans whining and mooning and…”

“It’s okay,” James said as he raised his hands in surrender. “You don’t have to sneak around. I’m all right with you guys being together. I just panicked after all those visions.”

“How many have you had?” Sirius asked curiously.

“Dunno,” James muttered. “It’s been like an x-rated tour of the entire bloody school and Hogsmeade as well, thanks to Wormtail. I didn’t even know what the Ravenclaw common room looked like until today.”

“Sorry Prongs,” Remus offered with an embarrassed shrug. 

“Just promise me something,” James pleaded. 

Remus nodded agreeably. 

“Close the curtains, use silencing charms, and never _ever_ use _my_ bed to act out your fantasies in.”

“Damn,” Sirius complained. “I was looking forward to that one too.”

The End


End file.
